Resolve to be Filled

I know it's only November. The turkey hasn't been placed on the table. The jolly, old, red-suited fellow hasn't wiggled his way down the chimney yet. Nevertheless, the end is nearing--the end of the year, that is. As I anticipate welcoming in the new year one month and a half from now, I'm beginning to think of a few resolutions I have in mind, the first being:

Developing the resolve to allow the Spirit to be a constant companion as I strive create more righteous behaviors and participate in more wholesome activities, to be lead and guided to the places that God wants and needs me to be.

I've recognized that there are a few things in my life that need to be changed, such as holding grudges, gossiping, my irritability and so forth. We know from gospel teaching that the Holy Ghost can only dwell with us when we are standing in holy places--physically, mentally, and emotionally. This is something that I haven't quite understood until a moment when my heart softened after having received a little treat from a fellow sister who hurt my feelings. I had chosen to hold a grudge, and every time I thought of her, anger immediately overcame me. However, that little treat sitting on my doorstep opened my eyes and allowed me to see something that I had been oblivious to before. Each and every instance when I granted permission for anger to fill my heart, I was evicting the Spirit of God from my side. Because of this eviction, the Spirit wasn't the one left bruised, but I was.

Upon my arrival in this life, the light of Christ filled my being, helping me to understand the difference between right and wrong--it's bad to lie, good to tell the truth, good to be nice, bad to be mean. Even if my parents hadn't taught me how to differentiate the good from the bad, having the light of Christ, I would have been able to feel the negativity or the opposite with every action. I felt it when I allowed the anger to enter into my heart rather than forgiveness because I chose the wrong emotion to fill my soul. I think when we act upon that light with which God has so graciously suited us, that is how we are able to feel the presence of the Holy Ghost.

If you are unfamiliar with the faith of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, you may not know what we mean when we talk about receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost versus the Spirit Himself. The Holy Ghost is the third member of the Godhead, or Trinity as some may call it. He is a distinct being, separate from God and Jesus Christ. All men on earth have the capability of feeling the presence of the Spirit. Perhaps you have been camping and had some time alone with the serenity of the mountains and nothing but peace filled your soul. Maybe you have gone to Church and listened to the preacher tell the congregation that God loves them, and you felt overwhelming joy in your heart. There may have been a time when you have struggled, and you prayed for peace, and you received it. Have you ever heard a little voice telling you to do or not to do something? The Holy Ghost is a dear friend to us all. His influence can be felt everywhere to provide peace, comfort, joy, love, and much more.

As members of the Church, when baptized at eight years old, we are not only immersed in the water to symbolize leaving our sinful life behind, we are also baptized by fire. Of course, it’s completely symbolic. Note: no fire is ever used! A little fun fact for you, fire is a cleansing agent. Fire refines and perfects. The baptism by fire cleanses and forgives us of our sins, and as we are confirmed members of the Church, we are given the gift of the Holy Ghost: a gift of constant companionship if we are worthy, a gift of constant comfort when we are hurting, a gift of healing and cleansing when we do wrong and are sorry, a gift of love when we need to feel the Savior’s arms around us. This gift is one that I want to always keep and not throw away. This is a gift that never perishes, but will remain by my side so long as I am clean and trying.

There are things that I do, movies that I watch, things that I say, and especially things that I think about myself and about other people that drive the Spirit away from me.

I don’t want to allow the Spirit to ever disperse from me again.

I will continue to try my hardest to fight the battle against Satan, who doesn’t want me to be happy. The Lord knows that the adversary wants nothing more than to find me helpless and hurting because he is in that very position himself.

This resolve to have the Spirit with me always will not end after one week, for I will strive to keep this resolve till the day I die. I will remain valiant. I will endure to the end as I have covenanted with my Father so that I can have this gift with me always. I would invite you to join me in my resolution for the rest of your lives as I do mine.

I know the gospel has been restored and with it the Priesthood keys so that we can have these precious ordinances performed for our temporary happiness and eternal salvation. I know Joseph Smith saw God and Jesus Christ. Every day, my conviction of what that fourteen year old boy saw grows stronger. It will never falter, no matter the stakes. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true. It is Christ’s church. This is His gospel. I know it. I live it. I love it.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

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#PorteOuverte

We are all saddened by the tragedy that struck the City of Lights last night. We have all asked ourselves, "How could something like this happen?" I don't have all the answers, in fact, I don't have any answers, but I am amazed by the outpouring of love on and also from the Parisians.
#PorteOuverte was trending via social media by locals inviting tourists and other visitors to come into their homes to find safety and refuge from the horror. The hashtag translates to "Open Door" and I thought: if something like this were happening our hometowns here in America, would we be leary of inviting strangers into our homes, or quick to open our arms to offer comfort to the stranded?
This beautiful act of kindness and love reminded me of the covenants I made at baptism:
"And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another's burdens, that they may be light;
Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life." (Mosiah 18:8-9)
If you have made this covenant, it applies to all. It does not matter where a person is from. It does not matter their circumstance. It does not matter their appearance. This covenant is applicable to every person in this world. Are we not all children of God? Do we all not belong to the same eternal family? Are we not all brothers and sisters?
I would hope that if tragedy ever strikes and I am in the position to either invite or turn away people in need that I would whole-heartedly choose to serve and love.
The people of Paris are suffering. Therefore, we should be mourning with them.
We can't continue to watch people suffer and simply say, "Oh that's sad, but how does this affect me?"
Especially if you have stepped into the waters of baptism, and have taken upon yourself the name of the Savior, Jesus Christ, it affects you. The very loss of these lives, although unknown, affects you.
We've lost over a hundred brothers and sisters in a rather tragic way. We continue to lose brothers and sisters as they fight for our freedoms. We lose brothers and sisters on a day to day basis: whether by murder, sickness, suicide, accident etc. We should be mourning with the sad. We should be lifting up the down-hearted.
Although we are not in Paris, we can still mourn with and comfort those who are grieving.
I do think this is one reason why social media is such a blessing--we can easily contact those who are hurting and give words of encouragement. Even just knowing that someone supports you can bring just as much comfort as a hug. We are in this together.
As children of God, we are always in this together.
Our arms are open. Our doors are open. Our hearts are open.
God bless Paris.
My prayers are in their behalf this day.

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Holding on to What I Know

As previously mentioned on my Facebook page, a new policy in the Church has been issued regarding the children of same-sex parents. I, however, am not here to shed light on the subject. My purpose for this post is to spread love and thoughts to ponder.

I have not always been one to openly accept every single doctrine of the church, every policy. I remember getting indirect warnings for wearing my pajamas to seminary, not understanding the reason behind not watching R-rated movies--but watching them anyways because I thought it was fine--and being sat down for uncomfortable lectures from my parents about kissing boys when I was fourteen. I've definitely had my fair share of questions beginning with "Why...?"

Some things, some principles, some policies simply do not make any sense! I always seem to feel it is my job as an individual to make sense of the matter; I need to know why the commandment or policy is what it is and why we have it set in place. Sadly, I've come to understand that it simply does not work this way.

Who sees the bigger picture? Who knows best? God. It is always God--not me. Although I have my own portfolio of opinions, sometimes I need to lay them aside so I can say with pure conviction: "I know Jesus is the Christ. I know Joseph Smith was a prophet. I know the prophet and apostles on Earth today are called of God and act in His name. I have prayed and I know."

Feelings are a choice. Overcoming confusion is a choice. Do not sit idly by while the "author of confusion" implements his best tactic on the children of God to draw them further and further away from the straight and narrow.

Initially, I was a little taken aback by the newly issued policy. As I thought more about the reasoning behind it, I came up with some conclusions, but I, honestly, do not know what the true, possible purpose is other than this: God loves His children and wants to do His best to protect them.

'Protect them from what?' you might ask. I think--I do not know, but I think God wants to protect His children from making covenants they will find harder to keep than any other individual as they reside in a household where they would be torn between the gospel and their parent's relationship.

I do not know God's direct thoughts, but I can learn of His truths through one tool: the Spirit. The Spirit enlightens the mind rather than unraveling a spool of uncertainty.

Let me reiterate my thoughts: 

Feelings are a choice. Overcoming confusion is a choice--light can be found if you will seek it out.

Please. Please. If you are fighting your conscience against this policy that will, in turn, cause your testimony to falter, fall to your knees and plead with the Father to give you understanding. He wants you to understand. He wants me to understand. He wants all people to understand that this is not out of hatred, but out of His undying love for all of us.

As hard as it is to accept that this policy could quite possibly be in direct association with the will of God, do not lean solely on your opinion or the opinions of others; do not let your testimony sit on your negative outlook on one policy. Do not allow the adversary to shake your testimony. I know, I know, Satan is using this policy as a way to draw as many as he can away from the truth. It is the adversary's plan to recruit individuals to, first, deviate from the path of righteousness themselves, and then assist others. Please do not trust the enemy.

Allowing feelings to trump truth always seems to be the easiest route to take. In times like these, when the mist of darkness impairs our vision, reach out to the iron rod; reach out to the Savior. So long as you grab hold and continue to grasp onto Him, relying on His perfect and infinite sacrifice, you will be comforted.

Many don't consider the Atonement to be a way to ease the burden of confusion, but remember that Christ has felt all the afflictions of the world: is confusion not an affliction? Confusion troubles the soul. Christ will ease that burden if you turn to Him, if you lean on Him. 

Please hold on to what you already know. As for what you do not understand and find inconceivably difficult to comprehend, "Therefore, ask and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you; for he that asketh, receiveth; and unto him that knocketh, it shall be opened." (3 Nephi 27:29)

I beg you to take your questions to God: not to the media, not to incorrect doctrinal sources. 

Moroni's promise is not only applicable to reading The Book of Mormon, but to any question about the truth of a piece of doctrine. "And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things." (Moroni 10:4-5)

In spite of confusion that constantly arises in my life, I refuse to let it rip away the very light that holds my life together. I refuse to let the darkness overtake my happiness. I absolutely refuse to let Satan lead me to think something is wrong without consulting my Heavenly Father first. I refuse to let go of what I hold dear. My testimony will never be shaken due to doubt.

In the words of a dear apostle, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf says it best:

"Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters--my dear friends--please, first doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith. We must never allow doubt to hold us prisoner and keep us from the divine love, peace, and gifts that come through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ."

My friends, I know this gospel has been restored through the prophet Joseph Smith. I know that Jesus is the Christ and that He lives. I am sure of it. I feel it in every fiber of my being that this is the gospel of the firstborn of the Father. Nothing will change the light the Spirit has shed on me that a fourteen year old boy saw God and Jesus Christ. Likewise, nothing will cause me to withhold my sustaining of the prophet and apostles because I know they are divinely appointed servants.

Do not. 

Please.

Do NOT allow doubt and confusion hold your testimony captive.

I love you. God loves you. Never forget it.

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Marriage and the "Unbreakable Vow"

Most, if not all of us, have read or seen Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. If you haven't, I highly suggest you do because you are missing out on so much magical goodness! The story begins in a room with Malfoy's mother, Narcissa, Bellatrix Lestrange, and, probably the most loathed-yet-revered character, Severus Snape. Malfoy has just been chosen to be one among Lord Voldemort's death eaters and Bellatrix manages to have Snape agree to make the unbreakable vow to Narcissa, meaning, he is to watch over Draco and keep him from harm. Should anything happen that keeps Draco from fulfilling his duty, Snape is to step in and do it himself. If he fails to keep the vow in any way, under the oath Snape makes to Narcissa, Snape will suffer death.
Yikes.
I'm talking about marriage here. How does the Unbreakable Vow Snape makes to watch over Draco have anything to do with marriage?
The joining of two families is one of the most joyous occasions, but more significantly, the vows a husband and wife make to one another: to have, to hold, till death do us part, or in the case of Latter-day Saints, through death we live on. Think about the promises spouses make to one another at the ceremony, whether it be bluntly spoken or received from the general message. The first that comes to mind is fidelity.
Think of the words again: "to have and to hold". The husband is the wife's. The wife is the husband's. No one else, romantically, is to have or hold either spouse except for their partner to whom they are legally and lawfully wedded. Naturally, from hearing this phrase a plethora of times in reality or fiction, it should be ingrained into the minds of men and women alike. Well, if that's the case, then why is infidelity such a major problem?
Let's take a few steps back to Harry Potter and relate it to marriage and infidelity.
Snape promises Narcissa that he will keep Draco out of harm's way--no matter the cost. If Snape fails to perform his duty to help Draco, he will be taken by Death.
What about marriage?
Both the husband and the wife vow to love each other no matter the circumstance. Thus we see, at the altar, husbands and wives vow to keep each other safe from...heartbreak.
Infidelity is a sin: an awful sin. From the words of past and present apostles and prophets as well as the Savior himself, it has been taught that when we sin, we suffer a spiritual death, or in other words, we move further away from God, until godly sorrow kicks in and we can work on reviving our spirits to be in alignment with the Lord's will.
It's quite frightening how infidelity happens.How does it begin?
Well, lying is probably the easiest and most natural sin. There isn't anyone in this universe who has not said a little, white lie to get out of trouble. The problem lies in the complacency that tags along this seemingly innocent hiccup in the human persona. Lying can be so natural sometimes.
Along with lying comes hiding and cover-ups.
I remember as a young girl, I had my friend over. As we played in my bedroom we, somehow, got a hold of a pair of scissors. What happened next is so typical of children: we started to cut each other's hair. As naive, little kids, we proceeded to stuff the hair into my mattress in an effort to cover up what had happened. Although our haircuts were tragically hideous, we thought if we could hide the evidence, our parents wouldn't suspect a thing.
Let's just say it was a very long time before my friend came over again.
As we grow older, the instinct to lie about topics of more importance become easier to let out. Teenagers begin to lie to their parents about who they're with, where they were, and what they were doing. The pattern of deception becomes more and more prevalent among rebellious teens.
What's worse is, when boys and girls see that this works, it becomes easier to move to even more complicated things: juggling two romantic relationships at a time. Oh, they just couldn't choose who they liked more so they chose to have both and pray that they keep it a secret.
Cheating is a result of, not only being complacent with the way things turn out by lying, but also greed and letting one's guard down.
Lying, pride, and the failure to protect oneself are the three most common weaknesses among people.
They truly are ingrained in our beings, but that doesn't mean we cannot overcome them.
God gives us weaknesses, but does not tell us it's okay to give in; he does not tell us to stop trying to overcome them.
Satan does not give us weakness, but does tell us it's okay to give in, to give up, to do what will bring us, not happiness, but satisfaction.
The tactics of the adversary are destructive. Sadly, so many people are using these tactics today to tell people it's okay to do what you want, that there is no harm in succumbing to the natural man.
There are dating websites specifically for cheating. There are churches that say, "Do what you want, as long as you accept Christ." There are even people who rile up those who are struggling with their faith and say, " God's not real, therefore, sin is not."
These examples remind me of some of the antichrists written about in The Book of Mormon.
Korihor was a man among the people of Nephi who wanted recognition. He concocted opposing views than that of Alma's toward the gospel of Christ, toward Christ himself. He was convincing to the people, saying that there would never be a Christ, therefore there is no law, and there is no sin. That sounded pretty good to his audience, supposing that sinful lifestyles seemed far more glamorous than the righteous. The end of Korihor's life resulted in him telling Alma to prove that God exists. He was struck dumb and ultimately died, not only a spiritual death, but physical.
The gospel is real.
Laws are real.
Consequences are real.
Married, or dating, infidelity does not lack consequence.
Commitments should not be taken lightly, although, the adversary says that it is quite alright to think that relationships are not as important as God says they are.
God says one thing.
Satan says another.
The way to recognize God's hand, is spiritual peace and eternal joy.
The way to recognize Satan's hand, is spiritual despair and temporary satisfaction.
Fidelity follows God's hand.
Infidelity follows Satan's.
Although lying, cheating, and stealing are ingrained into the minds of people, we do not need to succumb to the temptations.
Make the unbreakable vow.
Keep it.
Do not suffer spiritual death because of a little bit of satisfaction.
Stay true, and God be with you.

     
   

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Power to Love

I'm so far from perfect. Everybody is. 

I'm so far from having the capability to love everybody in every single instance. Most people are as well. 

I'm so far from being accepting of people from various backgrounds dissimilar to my own. A lot of individuals are the same.

The fact of the matter is, we're all struggling to love our neighbor--meaning everyone. There's so much hate and malice in the world; people blaming others for their own problems, fighting over opinions, getting into petty, little arguments. It's easy to fire back when someone takes a shot at you.

Lately I've realized that I could do better at loving and I wish I could, but I find it to be so challenging! Why is it so difficult to love? How on earth did Christ manage to love every soul?What I've come to understand is that we have three tools that give us the power to overcome any weakness.

1. Prayer
2. The Atonement
3. The Spirit

I've often asked myself, 'Why do I have weaknesses?' Comfort always comes after reading this scripture: 

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." [Ether 12:27]

I'm so grateful for my weaknesses. After all, without my shortcomings, how would Heavenly Father be able to shape me into something better than I am; a masterpiece? If I didn't have any defects in my persona, God wouldn't have anything to work with. I wouldn't be able to grow. Although feeling as if I'm incapable to love despite the circumstance, I know that I am absolutely capable to let go of my animosity; distaste for anyone if I rely on my Savior. 
Through the enabling power of the Atonement of the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I can overcome any weakness. All it takes it a little bit of work. 
Kidding.
It'll take a lot of work on my part.
God has given us all the tools we need to trek through any trial, wield through any weakness, and overcome any obstacle. Prayer will give me power. The Atonement will give me power. The Spirit will give me power. I am not in this alone. 
When I received the gift of the Holy Ghost twelve years ago, Heavenly Father promised me His companionship so long as I keep myself out of the presence of negative influences and abstain from making unrighteous decisions. He will aid me.
Following the soft whisperings of the Spirit coupled with the power of prayer--asking the Father, in humility, for His help--will essentially rid myself of the incapability to be a better person.
At this moment in time, these things will not make me perfect, but the beauty of this gospel is when I make a mistake, if I'm rude, hateful, or inconsiderate towards someone's feelings, I can repent. The true power is in repentance and forgiveness. Because of this truth that I can pick myself back up, apologize, ask forgiveness, and try my very hardest to never give in to the same temptation to put someone down, I know that one challenge won't stunt my spiritual growth, but rather, my slate can be wiped clean and I'm given another chance.
Today, I realized that one disagreement isn't worth a relationship. 
Think about it: Satan disagreed with Christ's plan, it ruined their relationship and it even cost him his salvation. I'm not willing to disregard and walk away from a relationship because of a little discord.
My goal this week is to ask my Heavenly Father for the strength to love in all situations. 
What can you do better at?

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Trials: Blessings in Disguise

How many times has God handed you a trial that made you just want to complain, and cry, and complain some more? The instances, for me, are countless!
It sure seems like I've been sitting in God's classroom for quite some time now. The lessons keep coming! Yesterday, the Spirit taught me, yet again, another worthwhile lesson: something that I really took to heart.
My husband and I had fallen asleep watching Friends. I woke up around 1AM, my neck kinked; my head pounding. I nudged Corey to wake up and we went to bed. When morning rolled around, my head was just throbbing! I was in so much pain--nearly to the point of tears.
Note that this was my first, truly awful migraine since I returned home from my mission nearly six months ago, earlier than anticipated.
Church meetings were going to start in an hour and there was no way that I'd be able to get myself ready in time; no way that I'd be able to get ready at all in the state I was in! Corey ran to the kitchen to get me some medicine, and I went back to sleep.
As I drifted into my dreams, I distinctly remember saying a prayer--in my state of unconsciousness--asking Heavenly Father to ease the burden even a little bit so I could get myself out of bed and ready for church.
When I opened my eyes, I looked over at my husband and told him that I wanted to go to church. My headache was gone.
Just long enough for me to get myself ready, out the door, and take the sacrament, God took away my migraine. As soon as the sacrament ended, the migraine came back.
I buried my head into Corey's side. Dreadful. Absolute pain.
I couldn't help but silently ask my Heavenly Father why He couldn't take the pain away for the duration of the testimony meeting. I so wanted to feel the spirit and learn from those who shared their testimonies. I'd had such an amazing experience last month! I wanted it again!
My answer came rather swiftly.

Trials are untimely.
Trials are hard.
Trials are not desired.
Trials lead me to my knees.
Trials make me plead.
Trials draw me nearer to God.
Trials allow me to recognize His mighty hand.

This trial in particular was a tender mercy from the Lord. While it was odd that He took my pain away for only an hour, for the sixty minutes that God eased my burden, I was able to focus on the single, most important event of the week: taking the sacrament.
As silly as it may seem, I'm so grateful for the headache I got yesterday. Through that difficult, temporary experience, I was granted a greater knowledge of the importance of the sacrament. I shared a moment with my Savior, Jesus Christ, when I partook of the emblems of His death. He had already suffered my headache. He had already felt that agonizing pain for me so that I didn't have to go through it alone. Because God eased my burden for that little time, soon afterward, I felt His love overtake me. I felt His hand work a tiny miracle just so my testimony could grow ever so slightly.

That slight increase in my faith in the Atonement of the Lord and Savior made all the difference in the world.
Because of that headache, I made progress in my eternal journey.
Because of that headache and my desire to renew my covenants, God did not just  allow me to renew my promises, but to renew my testimony.

I always knew that trials would help me progress.
I had never thought that the teeniest, tiniest trial could get me that much closer to God until yesterday.
God is a god of miracles.
My trials are a great blessing from my Father in Heaven.
I wouldn't trade the lessons I've learned and the insights I've gained from the discomforts I've experienced thus far for the world.
I cherish my trials.
I hope you do too.

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The Family: A Proclamation to the World

This inspired document was released twenty years ago today and read to the public by President Gordon B. Hinckley, whom we love, revere, and miss.

These are not just words written on a piece of paper, but rather, they are scripture and as such we should do our very best to follow the counsel given by the apostles of God, and therefore, God Himself.

You can find the document here.

I know that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God. No man-made law will ever have the capability of changing eternal law.

Men and women alike are essential to the Creator's plan, and we have different roles for a purpose. If we were all the same, we wouldn't need each other, but we do. 

Equality doesn't come by dismissing specific roles of each gender and substituting yours for the other. Equality is being equally yoked; sharing the load.

In 1 Corinthians 11:11, Paul said, "Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord." Neither could be without the other. In our mortal lives, we have the wonderful opportunity to find someone we love and marry. The bond between a husband and wife is sacred, and the gift of pro-creation shouldn't be tampered with.

That's the beauty of this gospel. 

While society is quickly dragging the world off-course, Latter-day Saints and many others are keeping themselves moving forward by living what most people would consider, "old-fashioned."

I was once asked my sophomore year of high school why I wouldn't want to "test" the man I love before I get married. At the time, I didn't have a response, but I do now:

Because I love God more than I love the principles of society. Because I have a testimony that Joseph Smith was a prophet called to restore the gospel, and because I know that we still have living prophets today, I know that God has said to save myself until marriage. Having not shared that bond with anybody but my husband has made our relationship much more strong.

I know that my Redeemer lives. I know that the greatest way to show Him my love and gratitude for His atoning sacrifice is to live the way He has asked. I love Him and I will follow Him.

His hand is extended toward you always. Take it. Hold on tight, and He will lead you Home. 

If you have not had a chance to yet, read The Family: A Proclamation to the World. Pray and ask your Heavenly Father if this document is a bunch of boloney and He will provide you His witness through the Holy Ghost. This is my invitation to you.

Happy 20th Anniversary!

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