Social Media & Election Anxiety

The last time I took a moment to sit down and write was two years ago. Two. Years. Ago. Since the time of my last post, I went back to college, completed an internship with AmeriCorps, finished my degree (University Studies with a minor in Sociology), and got a job at a public library. Seriously. Best job I've ever had, and I've been through many!

In the last two years, whenever I had something pressing on my mind, I would turn to Instagram stories to share. However, the week of the presidential election sent me in a spiral to the point where I needed to separate myself from social media. I logged out of all my apps and then deleted them for good measure. Hi, I'm Sarah, and I have no self control. I couldn't trust myself not to just log back in out of curiosity. So into the metaphorical trash bin they went. And you know what? I haven't missed them. In fact, I don't know why I didn't do this sooner.

Social media started out a great idea, a way to keep tabs on one another and see what's going on in each other's lives from making moves to getting married to checking off bucket list items. Somewhere along the way, these spaces became more and more toxic. Honestly, it started with the Top 8 feature on MySpace and went downhill from there, especially once social media became a tool for politics. In some ways it could be useful and informative. In others, people use the safety of their keyboards to say hateful things that they wouldn't otherwise be caught dead saying in real life.

It just gave me anxiety.

I had an anxiety attack at work the night after the election. It had been a long time since I'd experienced one, probably around the time of my last blog post actually. It started with the shakes. Then came the nausea. Last, but certainly not least, my heart rate picked up and I could not bring it down. I had one hour left in my shift and chose to suffer through it. I thought when I got to my car that it would subside. It didn't. Not until several hours later. I listened to "Science" by Niall Horan while I stood in the hot shower trying to calm my racing heart.

Can you feel what's beneath?

Is it stone-cold under your feet?

Are you numb? Can you touch?

Is the silence a little too much?

And all you wanna do is break out

So when you feel there's nothing left

Oh, there's still a heart beatin' in your chest

And when you're runnin' from the flood

Oh, you've got nowhere left to run

It's just science

Don't let it break you down

I didn't realize that election results could impact my mental health so much. I was not okay. Many of the people I follow on socials felt the same way as me, but as with any other reason for existing in an echo chamber, it wouldn't prove useful in addressing my mental health by remaining on socials and seeing depressing, anxiety-filled posts day in and day out, even though I felt the same way. That doesn't mean I'm not still worried, but I'm not letting that worry consume me. I am still finding ways to stay informed and prepare myself to act once the new administration makes its way to Washington.

This isn't to say I'll never use Facebook, Instagram, or Threads again. But this week away has certainly taught me that moderation is critical in the fight for my own well-being. For the time being, I'm going to see how long I can stay away and see how much better I am for it.