Post-Wedding

Well the deed is done! I'm a married woman!
My wedding day was more than I ever dreamed of. Much, much more. I wish I had known before the wedding that I wouldn't even be paying attention to the minor details that I had been freaking out about for months!  , it isn't about the flowers, the cake, or the venue. What's most important and what draws the most attention is the fact that two people who love each other were joined together in marriage.
I wish I hadn't spent so much time stressing about the decorations. I wish I had spent more time pondering the idea of being sealed to my love for time and all eternity.
I will say one thing: the day of the wedding, that was all I could think about! "I'm marrying my best friend!" was all that went through my head.
I'm so grateful for my husband--for all the many blessings that have come to us as an eternal companionship in just the two short weeks that we've been married.
I'm so looking forward to moving into our first apartment on Tuesday; to have a place to call our own--our h o m e.
Marriage is great!

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Waving Goodbye to Single Life

With only a week until I have two rings on finger, I've been thinking a lot about what I'm getting myself into. Y'all. It's scary--scary beyond anything I've ever experienced. I have so many worries that weigh on my shoulders (sidenote: any newlywed or soon-to-be-married couple knows that the number one worry is finances)! BUT. Although scary, I know it'll be the best experience of my life and I get to finish out the rest of my years with the love of my life. I know the troubles, the trials, the moments of despair will all be worthwhile because I have the opportunity to grow closer to my husband and become a stronger individual.
I. Can't. Wait.
I always get so excited to see old friends get engaged and begin to plan their weddings. I can't believe we're all opening up this new chapter in our lives. It's so crazy!
We're on the road to happiness. Being given an opportunity to embark from a new "port" in my life with the man of my dreams will make the remainder of my journey so much more bearable, enjoyable, and wonderful.
The storms will come. It may not always be calm waters. One thing is for certain though. We will accomplish our journey. Together. That's what excites me the most about marriage.
Corey always refers to me as his "battle buddy." We're a team. We will always be a team. We are an eternal team.
Ten days is all I have left to be a single woman. I'm looking forward to waving goodbye that aspect of my life. This is the best decision I've ever made--not to mention the most important!
Goodbye, single! Hello, married!

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[Optimism] in All Things

The past few weeks have carried me upwards and downwards as far as my emotions are concerned. I guess you could say I don't handle stress very well! With the wedding coming up, my emotions have been, to be frank, a hot mess. When something has gone entirely wrong--well, at least that's how I feel--I tend to blow a gasket. However, after my computer screen just randomly cracked last night and following my initial freak-out, I had an epiphany.
 I heard a little voice say, "It could be worse." 
Isn't that the truth! It could be worse. Why should I dwell on what's going wrong when there are so many things in my life going right? I don't want to be someone who looks at the glass half empty rather than half full. That would make me life seem so much worse than it is. In fact, my life isn't terrible at all!
I've got so many blessings that have been poured out on me in abundance. Why? Because my Heavenly Father loves me. It's sweet; simple.
When I'm handed challenges, I feel like God is rooting for me to find joy in the trials I face while the opposing team yells and screams at me to be ungrateful and to be miserable because of these experiences.
But the honest to goodness truth is, it's so much easier to give in to the negativity when something goes awry. The first thing I want to do is be frustrated, maybe even yell or mutter something under my breath. What I've come to learn over the past twenty years--which is sad that it's taken that long--is that acts and feelings of anger will get you no where. In fact, they'll only make you angrier.
Instead of giving in to Satan and letting him win, choose God. He's cheering you on. When you accept the support of your Heavenly Father, even in the small trials, you will win every time.
Here are three things that help me in moments of anger:
1. Don't say anything you'll regret. Remember, if your mother taught you well you'll remember the phrase, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!" In moments of fury, it's so easy to spit out the first thing that comes to mind, but it's important to remember that the words you choose to say could be even more hurtful than the cause itself.
2. Stop, breathe and count to ten...or one hundred if you're really mad. I know it's silly, but it works! For some odd reason, allowing yourself to stop and breathe slows your heart rate which rises when you're infuriated and calms you down.
3. Count your blessings. This one could quite possibly be the hardest one to do, but it's very necessary. I want to be better about this. What's the point in lingering on the gloom when God have given us so much radiance through His tender blessings? At the moment, it may seem as if there are no blessings, but if you will take time to think of a few--because let's be honest, there are too many blessings to list them all--the situation at hand will be much more bearable.
Next time you're upset over something, remember these words to one of my favorite hymns:

When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost

Count your many blessings; name them one by one

And it will surprise you what the Lord has done

Chorus:

Count your blessings; name them one by one,

Count your blessings; see what God hath done. 

Count your blessings;

Name them one by one

Count your many blessings; see what God hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?

Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?

Count your many blessings; every doubt will fly,

And you will be singing as the days go by.

When you look at others with their lands and gold,

Think that Christ has promised you his wealth untold.

Count your many blessings; money cannot buy

Your reward in Heaven nor your home on High.

So amid the conflict, whether great or small,

Do not be discouraged; God is over all.

Count your many blessings; angels will attend,

Help and comfort give you till your journey's end.

Be happy! x

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Loving Love!

Okay, I have to brag! I have the greatest fiance. There are a number of reasons why I believe him to be the most wonderful man on the planet (no big deal). The fact is, I'm in love with my best friend. That's really all that it comes down to. We started out as friends and that friendship grew into something immensely more than something strictly platonic. The best part about it is we're still friends! That's what--I believe--makes a great love; a lasting love.
Corey and I met through his sister, Ashley, while I was serving a mission in the northern United States--a far-off land called Idaho (sorry, I wanted to be dramatic). He and I never laid eyes on each other--well, as far as bodies are concerned. We did however lay eyes on each others' personalities for quite some time. Cheesy, I know. I'm just happy to know we didn't use a dating service, although they do work for some people! Ashley gave us each others' emails and we sent messages back and forth every Monday. It had to start with him because I thought it was strange to just email a complete stranger!
Weeks turned to months, and when August rolled around, I had hit my sixth month in the field. I received my first hand-written letter from Corey and that's when I realized that there was more to this stranger than I had thought. We had a real connection--not through pen and paper, but our souls were connected somehow. To give you the honest-to-goodness truth, it started to freak me OUT! My thoughts were merely this:
-I have no clue who this dude is
-I can't be falling for him. We've never met!
-The chances of us meeting and ending up together are slim to none.
-WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY?!

Because of my irrational fear of love--well, and because I was becoming very distracted by his charm-- I wrote him off--more than once, actually. Poor guy! He still tried to get in touch with me, but I didn't respond, although, something kept nagging me to respond to his messages. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
Luckily, I was able to refocus myself on what I was in Idaho to do: serve the Lord--and I did...up until I began to have frequent migraines that kept me from getting out to do the work. Upon meeting with my mission president, we had decided it was best for me to go home. I left my mission five months early and it was the hardest thing for me.
Corey found out through his sister that I had been released and he didn't miss a beat to contact me. I gave him my number and we texted back and forth for a few days. Then he asked if he could call me. OH NO. I didn't feel like I was ready to hear his voice. I knew that when I did it would be over for me...because deep down I knew this was it. He was it. There was that irrational fear of love taking its toll over me yet again! So even with my silence, he still called and I just watched my phone light up with a blank look on my face: ladies and gentlemen, that's fear.
He didn't bother calling or texting for at least a week.
I remember the next Sunday I was sitting on my bed when suddenly my phone lit up with his number on the screen. Fear. Again. Surprising? Not really. There went the blank stare for, what I'm sure were the most agonizing sixty seconds on his end.
Finally, he gave up and I didn't blame him at all. I didn't know what I wanted! Okay, really, I did. But I didn't know if my heart was ready. I'm sure everyone has felt at one point or another the fear of being rejected after having been accepted by someone truly wonderful then dumped. Getting back into the realm of roses and late-night dates after heartbreak is scary!
The hurt didn't come all at once. In fact, I wasn't hurt at all at first. I was surprisingly relieved that he'd given up. I didn't have to stress anymore! It was great!
I tried to get back into the swing of things: reconnecting with old friends, going to the movies, blogging, reading. It was all well and good, so I thought, until I realized that something was missing.
Easter Sunday was a day to remember. After general conference had concluded and I had gotten back from my brother's house, I was in my room reflecting on my life--because that's what general conference does to you! I had a very distinct impression to send an instant message to Corey. I apologized for being confusing, and messing with his emotions. I asked if we could be friends. His response hurt me like no other. He had said that he would love to be friends, but just that because he wasn't looking for a relationship. My initial thought was, Oh my gosh. What am I doing? I thought he really liked me. Is it really over before it even began? Corey asked if he could call me the next day, and of course, I said yes. I was all in. I was ready. Acceptance or rejection, whatever my fate, I was ready to face it.
Monday morning, 11AM. My phone rang. I watched it for a couple seconds and I finally brought myself to answer it. I was nervous, but the sound of his voice soothed all my nerves. It felt so natural to talk to him. His voice sounded so familiar. I was in a daze. A thirty minute call turned in to two hours and sooner than you knew it, he and I decided it was time to meet! Corey was sweet enough to buy me a plane ticket to go see him. In an instant, I knew it was right. I knew this was it. I knew my quest for love had been concluded--even though I wasn't even on a quest!
I met him at the airport in Salt Lake City. We were both so nervous, yet so excited. We were ready to turn this budding romance into something for the storybooks. Now we're engaged and ready to start a new chapter no longer titled, "My Life" but, "Our Life."
I always knew Corey was the one for me, but this trip is what solidified my feelings. When I felt his hand brush against mine, his lips touch my forehead, and when I gazed into his hazel eyes, something shot through me that I had never felt before. It was so much more than euphoria.  It was love.
I knew I was in love with Corey, not only when I felt sparks, but when I noticed silence wasn't awkward, I could be my absolute self, and we could still talk like we did as friends.
I'm so lucky to have fallen in love with and be engaged to the most wonderful man who has ever walked into my life. I'm happy to know that he will always be by my side for the rest of my life and throughout eternity. August 15th cannot come fast enough! x

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Love Despite Differences

In light of this week's court ruling, I do think that what the Supreme Court has decided is quite exciting! I can understand the thoughts and feelings that those of the homosexual orientation are feeling right now must be overwhelming. While I don't support gay marriage, I don't feel it is my place to judge or discriminate, or even try to fight the ruling because I can't change anything, but instead, to share my belief as a follower of God. Although the law of the land has changed, His law remains the same. He gave us the precious gift of freedom to act and choose for ourselves. Each and every one of us are here because we once chose to follow Jesus Christ. The purpose of our life here on earth is to find our way back to God by trying our best to live in accordance with His will. Now, I can't say that I don't live in sin, because I do. I sin every day. We all do! But our sins are between us and the Lord. The great thing about the gospel of Jesus Christ is that we can all change because of His Son's atoning sacrifice in our behalf--in ways big and small. No matter what you do, whether you change or not, God will always love you, but He knows what's best for all of us and He knows that the best way to find true happiness--not only in this life but in the next-- is through abiding by the laws He's set in place. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we often stand up for what we believe. We don't do it to be condescending or to make anyone feel bad (or at least that's not most of our intentions!). The reason why we share so many things in regards to same-sex marriage is because we believe that marrying someone in the bounds that our God has set, we will find the most joy and we want this for everyone. So. With that said, we may not have the same stance on whether or not gay marriage is morally sound, but that's okay. I still love you and I love all of my friends who are homosexual. But here's what I believe!

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He is R I S E N

"Why seek ye the living among the dead?...He is not here but is risen." Luke 24:4-5

My heart is full of gratitude for my Heavenly Father and for my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Because of Jesus Christ and His infinite Atonement, I can find peace in my afflictions.

Because He lives, I can look forward to the future with hope. 

One day, I will be like Him--because He lives.

I know the tomb is empty.

The Savior suffered, He died, and He rose again.

We have no need to worry, for we have a Savior who saved us.

As we accept this gracious gift from our elder brother, let us show Him how grateful we are for it.

The gospel boils down to love.

How much do you love your Savior and what are you willing to do to show Him?

I absolutely love Easter and spring time.

The flowers begin to blossom. The sun is out and shining. The birds chirp and they sing. The leaves begin to grow again. 

It's almost like the Earth is renewed after another winter that killed everything!

There are no coincidences, my friends.

I believe springtime is very symbolic of the Savior's beautiful resurrection.

Everytime Spring comes around, I remember God's love as I take in the beauty of all His creations.

Be happy and have a happy Easter!

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{Embrace}

"Embrace it! Take it in! Love every minute! Make every second count!"
We've all heard these phrases.
As cliche as they may sound-okay, do sound-we need to constantly strive to tell ourselves to do these things on a daily basis. Yes, even when you're having a bad hair day.
Life is too short to complain.
Life is too short to waste a day.
Life is too short to spend your time wishing you could have what you can't have.
Life is too short.
Live in the moment, and whatever your circumstance may be, embrace it.
Do not become short-lived! Embrace every moment that life has to offer: good and bad.
Make every trial a learning experience and every weakness a strength.
Remember: You are NOT alone!
I have a firm belief in God and in His hand. He created this world. He created me. He made life possible. When He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to live and to die for all mankind, He paid the ultimate price which allows us to change.
Embrace the opportunity to change!
Life is all about becoming! Becoming is a process, not an event. As we go through life to become like the Savior and our Heavenly Father, we will find the trials, the hardships, the errors, the discomforts, and everything that life has thrown our way to be worthwhile and for our good.
So, I'll say what all the optimists out there have always said:
Embrace it! Take it in! Love every minute! Make every second count!
Make today the best day of your life. Then make the next day the best day of your life. Then the next, then the next, then the next....
♥

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