Why I'm Not Broadcasting My Pregnancy

We all have those friends who post daily about their pregnancy regime, what baby likes and doesn't like, how the baby bump is growing, how excited they are for baby, etc.
I'm going to be incredibly honest and personal in this post, and my purpose isn't to offend anyone, so if you become offended, please don't point your finger at me.
A few months after Corey and I were married, we decided we wanted to make an addition to our family. I'm not quite certain how much money I spent on take-home pregnancy tests and doctors visits, but to no avail, all came out negative. I'll never forget each moment my excitement was quickly stolen by the single vertical line on each test I took every month for one year.
Frankly, we gave up. Our determination to grow our family was shattered by the notion that perhaps we couldn't have children--at least right now. To elaborate, my patriarchal blessing tells me that I'll give birth in this life--but to rely on modern technology and medical advances as I develop a baby within my body.
What could that mean? Before fighting this battle with my husband, I was under the impression that maybe I'd just need some extra medication during my pregnancies, but after having tried to conceive for a year, that thought changed.
I began to get jealous of those who seemed to have pregnancy come easily to them. I scrolled through Facebook to see friends who had just gotten married post their first ultrasound. It wasn't fair!
I cried. A lot. I told myself and my husband every time I'd take a test that I wouldn't be upset at the outcome if it were negative--but I lied, every time.
Shockingly, in October, less than two months after my brother died, I went in for a doctor's visit because I thought I had some infection--but had already given up on asking for a pregnancy test during my visits--only to find out that I was pregnant.
I didn't want to believe the doctor when he told me. I didn't want to get my hopes up for them just to be stripped away days later.
This is where I'll get extremely emotional.
Days before this miracle laid itself in our laps, I had vented to my mom about how jealous I was of my siblings who had children to bring them joy in the midst of their despair when all I had were textbooks and a desk at work.
My husband's a wonderful man--and he does make me happy. I'm definitely not discounting the peace he has brought to my life during this tragedy. But there's something about holding a child in your arms that brings you peace, knowing they are closer to the veil than you are.
I count this pregnancy as nothing short of a miracle from God--almost like a gift from my brother beyond the veil to my husband and me through God Himself--as if Christian was rooting for Corey and me, begging the Lord to let us have this one little joy in the middle of our pain.
I can't bring myself to boast about this pregnancy--broadcasting it from every corner--when I know where I have been in terms of trying to conceive and in what circumstance this little miracle came to be.
Fight me if you want, but I feel this ball of sunshine Corey and I created comes from far more than biology working together for our benefit.
I call bull if anyone tells me the timing of this pregnancy was merely a coincidence, and we were just finally successful in conceiving. I just do.

There's my story for you, but let me pull this all together and make sense of the title.
Let's take a step back to the beginning of our story: jealousy, pain.
Finding the opposite of success in trying to increase your numbers brings a lot of emotional discomfort, and provokes much jealousy when someone's posting constantly about their pregnancy.
I'm definitely not saying that it's wrong of you to share your excitement with the world, but as far as I'm concerned, I choose to stay more private than public when it comes to this baby--especially because of the circumstances which are rather special.
To expectant mothers and fathers, please be mindful of those on your feed who may be struggling, or incapable of conceiving children of their own. Try to refrain from being braggy as you share your journey with your friends.
The way you document your pregnancy is completely and utterly up to you, and I'm not here to tell you to keep your excitement to yourself, but all I am saying is this: be mindful, and be caring.

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Concerning...Concerns

I rarely get political on my blog, but I have something I need to say, and I feel I should say it here.

Each individual in our country found a candidate to back from the beginning of this election who they felt would defend their ideals, morals, and beliefs. 

Let me back up to these two words: they felt.

As people, we tend to have our own opinions. Each of us feel there is a certain way to run this country, to really make the nation flourish.

We blatantly call people "ignorant" and "stupid", but for what reason? 

Why do you think there is a divide in our government? 

One side feels they will lead the country in the right way, as does the other. 

I can't sit here, typing away an opinion that portrays an idea that the right is correct, nor can I tell you the left is correct. 

For eight years, I accepted a president that I didn't quite agree with on every policy, every decision, every statement. Despite my disagreement with his views, I allowed him to be my president. Why? Because I could tell he loves America. 

Again, I'm not trying to be entirely political--but only to share my perspective on differences with my readers. 

Conservatives may think I need to be put in a straight jacket because the perception is our former president did everything in his power to hurt America.

I strongly disagree.

What he did, however, is do his job to the best of his ability, in the way that he and his party felt right and fair. How can I point my finger at a man who did more for America than I ever have--despite my differing views and opinions? How can I be so lax as to say he was a horrible president when he fought his hardest to do right by the American people?

I feel it is unfair to call others out because of things they find deeply concerning when it comes to...really anything in life. 

While something may not cause you to quake in your boots, that same issue may snatch the ground from beneath someone's feet causing them to fall, and fear. Because it doesn't concern you and your conscience, spirituality, or political belief, that does not immediately stamp another's concern as illegitimate.

The same can be found true when the roles are reversed. 

Because something is concerning to you, but not to another person, that doesn't immediately call for the label "ignorant". 

I understand how we're divided, and it isn't because of the fight between Republicans and Democrats. 

I'm tired of the name-calling, the hatred, the unwillingness to listen, the intolerance of anyone who might have an opinion of vast difference from another. 

We have a new president--one that I really didn't want in office, but here we are.

I don't blame democracy, nor do I blame the people who voted for him.

I don't blame anything or anyone for the position filled by a man I found to be vile (understatement).

I have had so many concerns regarding this new presidency, but I have decided to open myself up to understanding, and acceptance, and allow this man a chance to do right by America.

I have found, though, as I have tried to be open that I have been blasted by others who firmly disagree with his ideals without any consideration as to my previous stance on his election as president. 

Can we stop? 

Can we be more open?

Can we try to give this man a chance as president?

Can we speak up to the capitol--without violent protests--if our rights are not being defended during his presidency?

Can we accept others' views while still holding our ground?

Can we stop pretending like we know someone's heart because of who they stand behind during an election?

With all politics aside, this is exactly how I feel when it comes to any other disagreements--education, religion, football to name a few.

I said the same thing when the Supreme Court ruled in favor of the LGBT community two summers ago--love despite differences. 

I still stand firm to that now.

God bless America.

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